An ex-girlfriend from the mid 80’s has recently ask me to have sex with her. She approached me using Facebook. I had her on my list for a while and thought nothing of it. My wife did mention once or twice that she’s after me but I just laughed it off. Then in mid-November she asked me if I wanted to be “friends with benefits”. Don’t laugh but I had to google it the results made my jaw drop, she wanted to screw me and there was no two ways about it. I felt guilty before I finished reading the message so guilty that I deleted it as fast as it arrived, I regret that decision now because I can’t share it.
Soon after my shoulders started to feel the weight of knowing something my wife didn’t know, something that could end our 30 year friendship, twenty of which we have loved each other intimately. I’d catch a glimpse when she wasn’t aware and begin to think of being without her, the kids, the dog, the home, the life we have, everything. My future could change in a second. One fuck and it would be over. I went to visit some friends of old and we discussed the proposal I’d received.
I thought about how easy it would be to just get my leg over, I wouldn’t even have to leave the village. I thought about what the future would be if I took up the offer, I felt physically sick for a few days. I arrived home and told my wife. She knew it and told me so. She knew something was bugging me and was glad I’d been honest. The weight disappeared off my shoulders my brain began to function normally, I also told my kids. They were gobsmacked as they all knew her. She was a volunteer on Cubs camping so even my 8 year old knew her well( we didn’t tell him as he’s in the same class as one of her sons). She also serves my 16year old in school in the dinner hall. She knew my wife quite well and all the time she wanted to screw me.
Then, then I remembered when we used to go out with each other. It was 1983/4 and I was in care in a local children’s home. I was the bad boy of the village therefore a natural attraction for all the village girls. Her parents seemed well off and she wasn’t the ugliest in the group so I decided to have a bit of fun. We dated for about 8months and became quite close, then I was sent to detention centre for 3months. She promised what they all promise “of course I’ll wait for you”. Three weeks in and I received a “Dear John”. The letter was read out in front of 300 other inmates at dinner time you can imagine the laughs I was gutted. When I was released I came back and discovered she’d been well at it. Blow jobs on the local disco bus, legs open behind the disco etc. I gave her a piece of my mind and that was that. Over the following two decades there was very little contact just a glimpse here and there.
About two years ago I delivered my youngest to the Cubs camping venue and she was there. She gave no indication that she wanted to screw me. I picked him up on the Sunday when she suggested I volunteer for the next camp, I said I’d give it some thought, which I didn’t. Soon after she sent a request on FB and I accepted, why not? We were just old friends. I should have realised sooner than I did that she commented on every post I put up even ones that had nothing to do with anything but me and others. The came the private messages. She knew my wife was in work so timed her approach in a sly cunning slaggy manner. I sent her this polite reply –
After a little thinking (because it didn’t take any time really) I thought I’d let you know that whilst there’s a sun in the sky and the tide ebbs and flows I would never ever be unfaithful to my wife. Whatever your issues at home are they are no concern of mine. I can’t honestly believe there’s going to be a time on this earth when I could be a “friend of yours with benefits”. My wife’s been honest with me and me with her since the day we began our relationship. That’ll be 20 years this November. Our love has grown stronger year upon year and just the thought of not having that honesty fills me with dread and sickness. You’ll find some other and probably ruin his and your life as well as your families. The only thing left to say is goodbye and good riddance, and that’s being as polite as I can get.
How polite can one be? She lied her arse off when questions were posed and she accused me of living on another planet. To deny asking me to screw her, to me the one she was asking, just goes to show what I avoided. She’s a nutter, a crazy bitch going through her mid-life and you and I now know it to be the case that’s she’s still a lying bastard who would have ruined my life just to get her self satisfaction. Maybe she’s been contaminated by those she works with at the Cubs in Menai Bridge. Her colleague who also volunteers is non other than The Duchess herself……. Kate Middleton. Surely a royal would never behave in such a manner…would they?